beer for breakfast

actually it's beer at noon, but ACTUALLY it's beer at 1 in the AFTERnoon because we've got this time change bullshit that's supposed to HELP farmers. no. don't help the farmers. just makes the farmers get colder earlier in the day.

so here comes the moment when shley bitches heavily about the farmstand: i went there this morning and stayed for a total of one and a half hours, most of which was spent cursing at the craptastic contraption others might know as a tent. piece. of. shit. it's a 10x10 foldable thing that does not want to fold or unfold. broken! i almost ripped the thing apart out of frustration at one point- a sort of daffy duck moment of tearing something to shreads while screaming, then standing their with chest heaving while holding little shreds of tent in his hands. that was almost me. so we had only one functioning foldable tent that didn't serve any purpose because the sun is too low in the sky to necessitate 10x10 roofs, so there's only a sliver of shade and a pissed off shley.

and WHY do i have to continuously have to deal with the shortcomings of impermanent structures?? the FIRST tent blew away. the SECOND collapsed because of the snow, which, by the way, has turned into a twenty-foot-long rotten squash muddy slip and slide zone that i get to slop around it every now and then. the once great piles of beautiful pumpkins and butternuts froze and thawed a few times, resulting in sickening muddiness. yesterday i had to use clothespins to hold up my jeans whilst slopping through the pile because they wouldn't stay rolled up by themselves. farmstand fashion at it's best.

so the people trickle in, complain about things, leave without buying anything and expect me to provide some explanation as to why we don't have tomatoes and basil and goddamn honeycrisp apples anymore, as though it's a personal decision i've made to deny them these things- or maybe i've got bushels of them horded in the trailer and if they're bitchy enough i'll decide to sell them some. i'm thinking of making a science fair presentation of the solar system so that people can relearn the reason behind the SEASONS. tilted axis!!! that means we have winter! things die! cycle of fucking life, come back next year please, thank you. just because king soopers has tomatoes doesn't mean that the rinky-dink little farm on the corner has tomatoes. we're all out. and we're fresh out of TENTS too.


ok..... feeling better.

now, a moment with farmer dan. last night at the end of season potluck he shared with us the tragic story of how his reading glasses broke (cause dan is older and needs reading glasses to read his howard zinn). i'm not sure where dan was when his glasses broke, but it was somewhere where resources were fairly limited, because his solution was to employ electrical tape and a drinking straw. he retrieved the glasses from his car and much giggling ensued. farmer dan and darth squash are now the only things that bring me joy at work.