Thursday, January 28, 2010

bachelorette food

this is food that would be embarrassing to make for company but which tastes darn good when you're too depressed about your recent break-up to go grocery shopping and cook a single portion dinner. it's like bachelor food in that it's starchy, filling, and involves chili, but feminine in its inclusion of random vegetables and thoughtful preparation. its inception is well-intended ("I'll make a pot of food to last all week!") but is quickly reduced to a slop pile of items found in the fridge that may or may not cooperate with the original concept. it is guaranteed to make the bachelorette fart, which she will do, loudly, because it simply doesn't matter if she's disgusting anymore.

this is my week of bachelorette food:

saturday: beef and bean chili made. eaten with normal chili toppings: saltines, cheddar cheese. beer.

sunday: chili reheated. eaten with remainder of saltines and shit! no more cheddar cheese. cottage cheese will do.

monday: can I really eat chili again? small bowl of cheerios enjoyed as appetizer. couscous sounds healthy- with steamed broccoli.

tuesday: chili reheated with left over couscous and broccoli, topped with more cottage cheese.

wednesday: chili reheated. out of saltines. tater tots prepared in oven, dipped in chili. several gin and tonics accompanied.

thursday: chili reheated. egg scrambled, served in flour tortilla with avocado, chili, and newly-acquired cheddar cheese.


the bad news is that there is still chili in the fridge.

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